Reagan VS Restrooms

Ok, so there's been several events leading up to yesterday's work of art.

I will begin with a little reminder of a few happenings that a few of you who know me may have already heard.

Not too long ago, I walked into the lady's restroom - obviously, to do my thing - and I opened the door to the stall and the seat was up. Now... usually you can tell if this occurrence is the result of a fresh cleaning. However, this was not the case. At first out of shock, I jump back then scope the room to make sure I'm in the right place. I conclude that I am, but usually resume my business in a different stall.
This incident has happened to me several times since then. Odd...
Another bathroom bewilderment happened while at TGIF's (aka Friday's). I went to the women's restroom and while I was in the first stall, I hear someone walk in. This person (hopefully a "she") went straight to the back stall, threw the door open, and then proceeded to do the same to the next stall and then the next stall. I could hear her coming closer and closer. She finally arrived at mine and jiggled the handle.
I believe I responded with something like, "Ummmm....."
And then an arm shot from underneath the door! She had a roll of toilet paper in her hand, set it at my feet, and then walked out of the restroom altogether. Again, odd...
So my theory is all these things have been happening as warning signs of a day that lay ahead, a day of absolute bathroom horror. This very day will go down in the books, my friends.

October 22, 2008.

I went to Oklahoma City for a seminar for my job. I already had three cups of coffee and upon arriving at our destination, I - of course - needed a bathroom, pronto.
I spot the women's sign and head straight for the first stall I saw. Unknowingly, I picked a stall with a broken lock. I didn't pay much attention because obviously my thoughts were otherwise preoccupied. Someone walks in, and of course, goes straight for my stall and opens the door leaving me exposed. I don't scream; I usually make this high-pitched "whoop" sound. After I did so, she shut the door and apologized. Awkwardly, I apologize also for not realizing the door was possibly cracked open. Then I just wanted to burst out laughing. I restrained myself and did my best to get the heck out of the bathroom. I then prayed I wouldn't see that woman at the seminar I was going to. God heard me, because I never saw her again.

Same day.....
I drank too much water during the seminar and also at lunch. So again, I've gotta go. I chose a different bathroom altogether. I didn't want what happened a few hours earlier to happen again. I did my thing and flushed the toilet. The toilet flushed like normal, but instead of filling back up with water, it EXPLODED. Water gushed from places I didn't know was possible. Yes... toilet bowl water was all over me and the floor. It just kept coming. I wished I could have had a shower right then and there.

I was banned from drinking any kind of liquids until we arrived back at the office.

This day was to prove that both God and I have a sense of humor.