My Room

This is My room, Ladies and Gentlemen. I've never considered myself much of a decorator. It is something that I enjoy doing, but you know what? It takes money! Anyway, the pictures don't do the color of the walls justice - it's actually a dark turquoise (or at least that was the name of the paint). My family thought I was crazy when I trying to describe to them what I had in mind - well... except for my sister. She always has faith in me. I'm in my room all the time now. It just feels so warm and cozy.

The bouquet on the top of this shelf was my bouquet in my sister's wedding. This is also where I keep all my books and movies.

There's my satchel! I love my satchel!

I found this picture of the Chrysler Building at Kirkland's for $10! I little piece of NYC.

This is my ginormous desk with my painting above it. I love my desk! Thank you craigslist.com!

This is somewhat of a collage of the places I've had the pleasure of traveling to (except for Paris).

And just so you know, I don't have a huge fascination with Paris as it may seem. I did one painting, and everyone started giving me anything that had to do with the Eiffel Tower. However, I do love architecture, and I think the Eiffel Tower is gorgeous. I hope to visit Paris someday.

Consistency

I just read a friend's blog about passions. It's somewhat inspired me to write a little list of the things and people I love with a quick description of why.

My Sister, Lindsay
She's profoundly loving and caring, and has helped me grow spiritually and physically stronger than any other human being. God has placed her in my life for a reason. I don't even want to think about life without her.

My Brother, Jeramie
He's a source of strength that's ever so constant. When other people run, he's still there beside me and has never made me feel alone. I can tell him anything without fear or shame. He's not technically my brother, but he might was well be.

Writing
This is a newer one for me ("newer" - as in the past 5 years or less). Writing is way for me to pour my other passions and emotions on paper. I love reading and listening to stories and feeling the emotions they evoke - excitement, sadness, love, thrill. Writing is a way of documenting mine, whether it's ridiculous everyday life happenings or something very deeply felt. I love it. It's not so much as an escape but more of a release.



Art
I love painting. I wish I had more opportunity to do so. Again, painting is another means of expression. There's no wrong way, which I think many people are seeking. No one can tell you what you're doing is wrong. There's different techniques, different strokes, but you can't make a mistake with whatever you choose. It's you and this artwork is yours.


Laughter and Joy
I live by Nehemiah 8:10. "Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." There's nothing better than being happy. Everyone is searching for happiness in their own way, and lot of times they're searching in the wrong places. God has given me so much joy, and I couldn't be more thankful. I can be in the darkest of times and still be happy. It's not that I don't care or I don't feel as deeply as everyone else, it's just that God has given me a way of peace and strength - and guess what? It's through joy.
And has far has laughter goes... It's a drug to me. There are times I just can't stop. I'm an addict.

Music
I have probably written more about music than any other topic on my blog. I love music, melody and sound. Granted, there are some "sounds" I prefer not to hear, but God has gifted us with music, and how we choose to use it is up to us.


After I wrote this, I read over it and realized why I love each one of these so much. These are the only things that have been perpetual for me - Unchanging, unwavering, consistent. I can rely on each one in it's own way.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind change in my life or new adventures. I live for them. But I can always come back to these things\people and know they will still be there no matter what. To know and be confident in the fact these bonds won't be broken is such an uplifting factor in my life.
I also want to express the fact I know God is behind each one. He knows what I need, and to express my thankfulness would be another lengthy blog. I love my life and what God has given. There's definitely times when I want to run from the struggles I face, but He's given me each one of these that I may come out on the other side stronger and with my faith lifted. He is the actual constant source, and to Him I give all the glory.

Lost in Theories and Thought

Last night on my way home from Oklahoma City, I discovered that my heater wasn't working. Not good, especially when it's 32 degrees outside and working it's way down.
In order to stay warm, my mother and I kept the conversation flowing with several random topics. I'm pretty talented when it comes to randomness, so we had no issues there.
I also have theories, theories about pretty much anything. Again, very random theories, I must say, but they keep me going and also laughing (which is my favorite thing to do). Nothing serious though. I'm lighthearted about it all.

So, my mother and I were discussing the Marilyn Monroe theory. Most are familiar with this topic, but I believe there's more to the story than just an overdose. I'm not going to get into the details, but no one can prove them. Yet, that's why they're theories; they're just ideas. I'm a person that thinks about things too seriously and should often be ignored. However, it's something I enjoy and also something my family and friends have to put up with. (I'm sorry).

Here's one of my theories: I believe that there's a lot more that goes on with rich and famous than we actually know. We just think we know every little detail about their lives, but we don't (at least for some). They have enough money to keep certain things hidden from the public. If it's important for them to keep it quiet, they can do it.

Granted, I know it was a lot easier to keep things on the down-low 50-60 years ago, but take Clark Gable for example. He was supposedly in an accident due to excessive drinking. From different reports there was a pedestrian involved, yet again, this cannot be proved.
Either way (hit-and-run or no hit-and-run), MGM's punishment for his behavior was lending him to Columbia Pictures to do this low-budget film called "It Happened One Night". This movie won him an Oscar and four other Oscars including Best Actress and Best Picture.
It is also best known for being the first film to show a man's bare chest.
Now as you can see, these people had the means to keep this all hush-hush. Case closed.

Adding to the topic, I told my mother how I wondered what other celebrities had possibly been involved in certain criminal activities. Who technically killed whom? Who really shot whom? Who bumped off whom?
I mean, you can't deny me the fact that Puff Daddy (Puff Diddy, P. Diddy - whatever) has puffed a few people off. I have a whole other theory about how he even achieved his name, but I won't post it here. I could get myself in trouble. Just ask me sometime. It's pretty ridiculous though.

I'm going to end my post there. I really don't know if there is a point to this blog, other than the fact that I enjoy thinking and discussing things whether it is ridiculous or something deeper. I often find my self sitting on my bed and thinking about whatever - like I just escaped some other world. People my consider it daydreaming, but I consider it lost in thought.

Music and Tears

I'm not a crier. And I have nothing against criers, since I used to be one. But now, it takes something with personal meaning or significance for the tears to flow. The initiators of such happenings are (in general) People, Movies, and Books.

Now, there's one very important substance I did not mention: MUSIC.

Music plays a monumental part in my life. I have this crazed passion for melodies, and sadly I'm just beginning to learn how to play them myself. (I have a few friends teaching me the guitar. I'm very excited!) I've always considered music has one of God's greatest gifts to mankind, and it's definitely one of the paths I often choose to draw closer to Him. I just can't express how much music moves me, speaks to me, and comforts me.

With that said, this is what I'm really getting at here:
I've never cried just because of a song. A song can be so powerful it causes to ache or to contemplate things, but never to cry. However, if I begin to ponder about anything, whether it be my family or friends, a certain incident, or just life itself; then I will surely cry. But, the fact is, it's not the song itself; it's the thoughts that the song has directed me towards. Yet, I have been at church ,during praise and worship, and cried; but that's still due to the fact I was going through some of the toughest times in my life. Those thoughts and feelings coming to me about the situation I found my life in, were the true reason for my tears.

(This baby just listened to Nickelback for the first time. This is a different kind of crying.
(And I'm crying with him.)

Now.... according to several of my friends, this is very foreign to them. Upon hearing a song that is in some way moving to them, they might shed a few tears. I, however, do not; I cannot.
A few of these "friends", I might add, are males. They will remain nameless not for their protection but for mine.

"Delicate" by Damien Rice is (in my opinion) one of the most moving and powerful songs I've ever heard. Others may hear it and not feel the same, but as for me, I absolutely feel his pain and passion. It's unbelievable. I think if I could cry just because of the intensity of a song, that would be one to break this curse I must have. (There are many others that affect me in the same way, but I'm going to list them here because it's not important. And with songs, it's pretty much to each his own.)

I've even purposely listened to certain songs to cause myself cry. Have you've seen "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and the lovely Kate Winslet (she's one of my faves)? Picture me now, because that's what I look like when compelling myself to cry.
For those who haven't seen it, Cameron Diaz plays this woman who cannot cry no matter what happens to her. There's this scene where she does just about anything to make herself cry but to no avail. Watch it; it's great!

Now that I'm finished publicizing Damien Rice and "The Holiday", I would like to hear other opinions on the matter of music and tears. If you cry during a song, are you crying in view of the song or due to something else?

And, guys, we know you cry. (Dawson wasn't afraid.)

Hardcovers VS Paperbacks - In Reagan's Perspective

I love Books! Sometimes my love for books is more powerful than my love for reading. I can stay in Barnes and Noble for hours and hours. Drinking a cup of coffee, thumbing through the pages of history, fantasy, thrillers; what more can I ask for? The only problem is the longer I spend in book stores the longer my "must read" list becomes, and then my bank account starts shedding some weight. Not good. Stick the the library, Reagan! STICK TO THE LIBRARY!

One thing I have discovered, is that I used to hate paperback books, but only for the fact that they deteriorate a lot sooner than hardbacks. My opinion has reversed in the recent years, because I can pretty much guarantee you I have a book everywhere I go. I usually carry this huge satchel, and you can bet there's a book in there. I used to not be this way. Ok, now back to why I now prefer paperbacks to hardbacks.

#1. Hardcovers are bulkier. There's certain ones I can't just throw in my bag and go. If I did, I would knocking everyone over with my humongous satchel. WHAM!!!! Oops! There goes grandma! WHAM!!! Oops! My sister just went through wall.

#2 After I'm finished reading a page, I flip it to the other side and crease the middle of the book. I love to grasp a softback and bend the pages to the shape of my hand has I'm reading. The book is curled a bit after I'm finished - like a taco. (Yummm!) You obviously can't do this with a hardback.

#3 I don't care if I get coffee stains on the pages or if I write in it or if there's smudges. Why? Because this book just cost me 5 bucks when that hardcover over there just cost me 30!

Don't get me wrong. I love hardbacks! Nothing looks better on your trophy shelf. That's how I feel when I've finished a book. I close it. I hold it out in front of me. I sigh a sigh of accomplishment. And I then I take a victory lap around my room; screaming to the top of my lungs. Once you've placed your trophy on the shelf, you're a winner. Nothing says it more like a hardback. The paperbacks just end up falling over. I don't know about you, but it gives me a sense of cheapness. It's like that trophy I got when I was in T-Ball. I didn't have it 5 MINUTES and the bat broke! What the heck!?!?!

So there it is. Hardcovers VS Paperbacks - In Reagan's Perspective.