Slang City for Dummies

I found this website that takes movie quotes and then translates them for I guess only the true idiots of this world to understand.

Here's a few from Napoleon Dynamite

Uncle Rico: Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.

Translation:

Napoleon, you know we can't afford this variety package of small, individually wrapped snacks. Do you think this family is wealthy? Take it back! And get some diapers for you and your brother while you're doing that because you both still urinate in your sleep like children and dirty the bed.

How about this one?

Rex: First off, at Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearin' these bad boys?

First, at Rex Kwan Do (martial arts school), we use the "buddy system" where students work in pairs. You will not be alone. You need somebody watching out for you against danger at all times. Secondly, you're going to learn to discipline your image. Do you think I got where I am today because I dressed in an effeminate way, like Kip over here? Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these impressive and manly pants (which look like the American flag)?

I've been enjoying these so much that I'm beginning to annoying everyone at work. When they say something, I'll yell behind them, "Translation!!!" and then proceed to explain exactly what they just said with more simplistic words.

Here's another one from The Lion King...

Simba: Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?
Scar: A monkey's uncle.
Simba: You're so weird.
Scar: You have no idea.

Translation!!!!

Simba: Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?
Scar: The uncle of someone low and worthless.
Simba: You're so strange.
Scar: You have no idea how strange I am.

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